Intro to Embracing a Life of Abundance

All of us travel a unique path while we are on this planet.
I have had the opportunity to work as a math teacher,
high school counselor, K-12 principal, and as a
leadership and life coach. I have shared this run so far with a
wonderful partner of over thirty-six years and we have raised
three remarkable children. I have also been fortunate to travel
to many amazing places around the world. All my experiences
have provided a rich foundation for me to see patterns and
connections across diverse aspects of life. This has led me to a
profound desire to understand myself and others more fully.
While my story is different from anyone else’s, I have found
that we all can learn from one another by sharing our life
lessons along the way. It is in this spirit that I offer this book
to those who may find common ground with me.

Over my lifetime, a particular phrase has become a guiding
principle for me:

Find yourself, Accept yourself, Give yourself away.

For me, this speaks to the need for each of us to come to know
who we are at our deepest core. From that connection with our
authentic selves, we then must come to accept both the
potential and the limitations of being ourselves. Out of this
self-awareness, we then are empowered to give ourselves away
through meaningful relationships, purposeful work, and
abundant living.

Richard Bach wrote in his book Illusions, “Our only obligation
in life is to be true to ourselves.” This idea really bothered me
for much of my early life. It sounded so selfish. However, at
this stage in my journey, it resonates deeply within me.
Fundamentally, the most important journey we can take is
inward. Until we seek to know our true selves, we are battered
by all the currents of shoulds, have-tos, and others’ opinions.
We create incongruence in our lives when we are out of
alignment with who we really are. This breach of integrity is
the root of most of our struggles in life.

To find wholeness, balance, and congruence, we must be
willing to do the hard work of exploring our very nature and
embracing what we find. It is from this continual process that
we can find our true independence from the things that pull us
out of alignment. With a deeper understanding of who we are,
we can seek interdependent relationships that bring joy and
meaning to our lives.

One of the most important aspects of this process to
remember is that this is an ongoing journey of discovery and
evolution. We are not who we were yesterday. Today is another
piece in the mosaic of our growth and becoming. For much of
my life, I pursued what I thought everyone else wanted or
needed me to be. I only felt valuable or worthy when I was
pleasing someone else. When that didn’t work, I believed I was
a failure. In the last few years, an ironic transition has
happened. When I let go of trying to earn my place in the world
by pleasing everyone and focusing on perfection, I found the
true inspiration to make a difference in the world. By seeing
myself honestly and holistically, I have learned to love myself
for who I am. Accepting my strengths and my flaws, I have
been freed of unrealistic shackles and the burdens of living up
to everyone else’s standards and expectations. Instead, I can
give myself to others in authentic ways that are mutually
beneficial for everyone.

Daniel Goleman talks about this process as the elements of
emotional intelligence (EQ). EQ requires that we first have a
strong self-awareness that leads to effective self-management.
Once we understand ourselves more, we can extend our
comprehension to others through empathy and social
awareness. This broader, external focus enables us to interact
with others in positive and purposeful connections. This
includes our closest personal relationships, our friendships, our
teamwork, and our leadership capacity.

Using EQ as a foundation, I have been developing a
framework for sustaining congruence in my life. This book is
essentially an outline of how to establish and maintain integrity
and alignment.

This book consists of two main parts: Finding & Accepting
Ourselves and Giving Ourselves Away. In the first part, we
will start by looking holistically at the four fundamental strands
of being human: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, and
we will then explore them individually. These four are equally
important and are intricately connected. While it is important
to see how the strands work together, it is helpful to also look
at them separately for the purpose of assessing our health and
balance in each one.
After we explore the individual strands, we will bring the focus
back on the wholeness and interconnection of each of them.
In part two, we will explore what it means to give ourselves
away. Having established our individual sense of balance and
alignment, we will extend that into our relationships, our work,
and our daily lives. In terms of relationships, we will examine
what healthy connections look like with ourselves, with others,
and with that which is beyond us. In terms of work, we will
dive into finding meaning and purpose by fulfilling our
personal mission and service. Finally, we will look at seeing our
daily lives holistically and how to embrace a mindset of
abundance.

A professor once shared with me that you can’t teach truth
directly. I have found that stories and metaphors have helped
me understand fundamental principles at deeper levels. It is my
hope that my reflections, experiences, and insights will serve as
catalysts and jumping-off points for your own journey. While
I truly believe what I have shared here, I am fully aware that it
is still an incomplete and biased worldview based on my life
journey. As such, use these words as they best fit your growth.
If just one thing in here helps you move in a positive direction,
I will have accomplished the purpose of this book.